Social Networking bannation: Day 1.

Facebook-be-gone experiment, day 1.


I have decided to get off of Facebook for a whole month. One. Whole. Month. To some, this is an absurd idea. Preposterous. I'm beginning to think they're right. 


It's already been 15 minutes and I can feel the blood rushing to my head...my palms beginning to sweat...the familiar shakes come on as I feel the withdrawals setting in. The endless hours of creeping on pictures of people I hardly know beckon to me; the painstaking thought process of inventing a witty status to gather caustic remarks and thousands of "likes" plagues the brain. Tomorrow is National Creep Day...How can I do what I do best without Facebook?


All that aside...it's worth it. Completely worth it. I have realized just how important Facebook has become in this society...too important. It has become an infection; people refer to it for relationships, friendships, and even friends of friends of friends that were tagged in that one picture from when your friend was on vacation. This so-called social network has become more than just a trend among college students. It has become a world-wide icon that has possessed so many monitors across this globe. And I want to know...is it really worth it? Is Facebook so crucial in my life that I can't go a month without it? I would like to think not. That is why I am going to conduct this experiment. To go a month without that social networking site that we have all learned to obsess over. And I challenge you to try as well, reader. Will you accept?


P.S. Also, if you really need to get ahold of me, there are other things out there. Email. Phone. A hand-written letter! I love getting them and I love sending them. They have become obsolete and it saddens me. What is a hand-written letter you may ask?


Google it. 

Oprah, Kramer and whippage of hair back and forth.

Oprah. I want to know. How is this woman successful? What was the point where she woke up and decided, no turning back. I'm going to own my own talk show. And if I decided to own one, would it work that way for me? Probably not. So what is it about Oprah that brings the sobs all around the world? Her voice makes me think of Feng Shui. You can't even hear her name now without thinking, I may just start crying because of that one episode where she bought a house for the family that was financially unstable. And it's crazy to think that years ago, no one knew who Oprah even was. She has surpassed even celebrities. She's in BOARD GAMES for crying out loud!!!!! I just...don't know what to do. And she's just so filthy rich. It's like every show she's handing out free cars for everyone in the audience or she rolls in giving high fives and announces, "hey everyone! You're all going to resorts in Australia because I feel good!" It just. I mean if Bill Gates had a talk show? Can you imagine how THAT would go? Oprah would be a thing of the past. People would get free planets. 


I think Kramer from Seinfeld is hilarious. If I was a man I would want to look like and have the  mannerisms of Kramer. But I'm not. So we're just gonna move on.


Willow Smith. I had not even heard of this child until this song, "I whip my hair back and forth" came out. I don't understand the song. The child is nine years old. In the song, she talks about "when they see me pull up, I whip it real hard" (I'm assuming her hair). Pull up in what?!!!!!! Her Barbie Convertible?!!!! She can't drive!!!! I don't...understand. It just bothers me when mere children talk about things such as pulling up in invisible cars. She also mentions, "Don't let haters keep me off my grind". What haters? Grind?! I didn't even know what haters meant at the age of nine. Do kids even know how to hate? I just think society has driven this whole child-star thing out the door and through several buildings. The rest of the song goes on to tell us, if we didn't get it the first ten choruses, that she likes to whip her hair back and forth. Willow, I'm sorry you're named after a tree.


P.S. Bon Jovi keeps looking older and older.

Do YOU take your deodorant for granted?

I like watching the polls.

Is that nerdy? Oh. It is?

Well. I admittedly do. It's addicting. It's like watching a caterpillar trying to go from one leaf to another in the span of five hours. You never know what could happen.

Speaking of which...

have you ever had that sinking feeling in your stomach? Like when Wal-Mart discontinues your favorite deodorant?

I don't think I have to say it. But I will. Wal-Mart discontinued my favorite deodorant.

Are they insane?!!!!

That deodorant...was the perfect odor blocker. It smelled like an ocean breeze wafting through a beach full of coconut palm trees waving in a Hawaiian sun. Pretty sure that's what it was called, too.
I went to Wal-Mart yesterday and it was GONE. I had to choke back a cry of helplessness as i frantically rifled through the endless maze of unfamiliar scents of Teen Spirit (Do I really want to smell like hormones and ex-cheerleading years? Literally taking the song to the next level) and tacky odorless off-brands. It was nowhere to be found. Through the streaming tears I grabbed a go fresh Dove. Three years of my beautiful Suave...gone.

I am NOT melodramatic. I do NOT use parentheses too much. And I certainly DON'T overuse caps.