Youth in Asia and such savory concepts.

I had forgotten my password; it's been that long since I've blogged.

This semester I am taking French I, Concert Choir, Philosophy and Photography.  One week down, approximately 12,346.49 more to go.

I am also considering learning to cook, among other great scholarly pursuits. Now, my idea of learning to cook would be different than yours. MY idea of learning would be not burning Ramen Noodles. My mom denies it to my face in order to protect my feelings, but she, as well as the part of the house that still has functioning nostrils, knows that I cannot cook. "I have a disconnect of the-brain-to-the-hands" is my personal belief. Perhaps a disconnect of the brain to the brain.

Speaking of brain disconnection...

The other day in Philosophy, my professor was going over the topics we would be discussing over the semester, one of them being Euthanasia. Now. I have heard of this awful thing before...however, I had never really heard exactly what Euthanasia was. So for about a year, I had thought people were saying "Youth in Asia". I couldn't understand why such a noble cause was such a big controversy, and why many wanted young Asian children to be neglected.

...

I really honestly believe God gets a chuckle out of watching us pathetic humans attempt to be geniuses.

Celebrating mediocrity with Dora.

As I was babysitting the other night, I reflected on the ingenuity of Dora the Explorer. The girls were absolutely enthralled. I, on the other hand, was rather skeptical. I'm just going to lay it out here for you. 


1. The Map. As far as creative theme songs go, I think someone was a little lazy in the idea room. In case you haven't heard the Map song, here's how it goes. It gets a little tricky in the bridge, so watch out for that.


"I'm the map, I'm the map, I'm the map, I'm  the map, I'M THE MAP!!!!"


Poets couldn't have lyricized this any better. But in all sarcasm, I felt like I had heard the second line of the song before. And the third. It was like deja vu...about deja vu. Or Inception of a song. I don't care how you want to look at it. It was just...wrong.
After the Map(in case you didn't get his name from the first verse...or was it the chorus?) goes over the places Dora will go in order to save some poor animal about a gazillion times, Dora decides to reiterate it a few more times for you. I don't know if you've heard Brian Regan do this bit, but after watching it, I realized just how true it was. Mediocrity at its best.


Here's the deal.


I want the Map. Not just a Map. THE Map. Except instead of telling me exactly how to get somewhere in the course of just a few landmarks-though doubling as a GPS system would be rather handy-it would tell me what to do in life. This is all strictly hypothetical, of course. God is your GPS. 


2. Dora the Explorer doesn't rhyme. And since it's all about Spanish...wouldn't it make more sense to make her name Dora the Explora?!! Killing two pickles with one turtle, I always say.


3. Okay here's a positive. Teaching the ninos how to speak some espanol. When Dora would excitedly exclaim, "Donde esta?!" I found myself yelling "Es alli!!!!!!!" (I barely pulled through with an A in Spanish class. The only word I really understood and related with was siesta. And fiesta. And nachos). 


4. Swiper. I wish that every robber and villian could be stopped by simply saying, "Robber no robbing!" And he would just snap and say, "aw man!" And walk away. Sadly, this is the culture that is being ingrained into children's minds. 


5. Dora gets to go freaking everywhere. I want adventures like her.


6. Diego. I don't...really know what to say about this kid. He talks to animals. It's like this show is Maya and Miguel in the pre-adolescent stages. (And if you don't know who these wonderful twins are...you are missing some high quality television).


7. Backpack. Refer to #1.


All biting wit and sarcasm aside...it's a great show. I suppose I'm just too literal a person to take Dora the ExplorA seriously. Now...to find the Map...

What I've learned.

At request, I am going to write a post about what I have learned from the Facebook quarantine. 


1. I am so much more productive. It was crazy how much more I was able to get done during the hour/s I would have spent surfing through hundreds of pictures and thinking of seemingly brilliant statuses. I was tempted once or twice to go to Facebook, but I would instead check my email or try to get a task done that was menial but I felt so much better once it was done.


2. I didn't know what was going on sometimes...but I was okay with it. It amazes me how much Facebook has affected the way we communicate. I would find myself in a normal conversation, and then something would pop in unexpectedly. "Did you see that so and so are in a relationship?!!! Oh...you haven't? Well it's on Facebook." I've realized that I sometimes prefer anonymity. Sometimes, I just like to keep my business to myself; to surf the wave of obscurity. I'm sure the same goes for other people. 


3. I wrote some letters. And it felt GOOD. Handwritten letters are a lost art form. Enough said.


4. Facebook has affected the way we perceive others and ourselves. Facebook was created to make networks. Mark Zuckerberg, the creator of Facebook, was recently named the TIME person of the year (2010). I skimmed this article in TIME (a gatrillion pages long. I had better things to do...like check Facebook). In the article, he states his purpose for Facebook. 


"We're trying to map out what exists in the world," he says. "In the world, there's trust. I think as humans we fundamentally parse the world through the people and relationships we have around us. So at its core, what we're trying to do is map out all of those trust relationships, which you can call, colloquially, most of the time, friendships."


First of all..."colloquially"? I don't quite know what to do with myself. I don't think I'm intelligent enough to even begin to describe the cosmic adventure within that word.


I think that Mark had a beautiful idea. I really do. But sometimes I wonder if we've lost sight of that. Are we really striving to build a community based on trust and a mapping of friendships, or have we fallen into a commercial idea of creating a false image of ourselves? Am I making any semblance of sense? Probably not. But I just feel that we have lost the point in it. It's about connectivity with those we know and love, not trying to build an "empire" of photos and friends.


What have I learned? That a one-on-one conversation with a best friend in a small coffee shop beats a wall post any day. That pictures are beautiful, but the memories within the pictures are even better. And spending hours singing off-key with your best friend in a car is better than hours spent on a chat trying to spew a witty repertoire of...wit. And that maybe Mark Zuckerberg, the analytical mind that is worth millions, can write codes all day...but it will never come close to personal, joyful, sorrowful, expressible, human interaction. 

Almost done.

The Facebook drought is almost over.

I can feel the blood beginning to pump back into my veins...the familiar rush as I anticipate logging in and seeing all those notifications...

NOT.

I probably really haven't gotten that many, in all actuality of reality of syncopasity.

I don't know what else to talk about.

I'm seriously at a loss for words.

I don't think that's ever happened to me.

Well. Maybe once. And it was at the Grand Canyon.

I choked on a piece of gum.

Day 16, 1:57 a.m. Eastern Time-Facebook whispers my name...

Okay. I miss Facebook. It's official. I had this weird obsession with spending hours looking at pictures of people that I hardly knew. And now that I watch my friends from afar doing said creepy activity, I'm just itching to get back on. 


But it's all in my head...right?


I don't REALLY need to respond to the seemingly endless wall-posts that I imagine are clogging my notifications. Right?


I don't need to check those important messages about that event that I might not even go to but I'll check 'maybe" anyway because I'm wishy washy...........right?




....Right......


Enough about Facebook.


I've decided that the laundry room in Moore Hall is the perfect place to relax. I love washing machines.


I have also realized I have this superfluous fear of treadmills. I have aptly named this fear, "Tread-Dread". I ran on one in the Rec Center tonight and the whole time I was sweating. Not from the workout......(I only had it on about level 5.5. I can just hear you judging me. Don't) but from the constant fear that I was going to be distracted for one second or slow down and it would be all over. I've fallen on a treadmill before. It might surprise you to know that you can't stop running on a treadmill. I found that out the hard way. (Again with the judging...)


While we're on the subject of things I've learned:


All-nighters aren't much of a reality for me anymore. I'm getting old.


Never tell an Architect his letter "P" is looking a little crooked. Did you know they spend hours on those letters...? Whoops.


Free stuff and coupons are awesome. That goes for anyone at any stage in life.


I got a new phone cover for my phone. It looks like a Transformer (not exactly something I've learned...but I just thought you should know) 


Some people just are on a NOT-need-to-know-basis. Find this out before you tell them anything. I'm over it.

When they say "poor college students", they MEAN IT.


Goodnight.

Facebook withdrawals...

Yes I changed my blog. Don't freak out, because it will probably be different in about a month or so anyway.

Hey mom. Yes I'm awake at 12:36 a.m. But it's okay because I don't have class in the morning.

Do you ever just wake up and not like yourself? I seriously woke up today not liking myself. I don't like that I just go through life expecting things to be handed to me. I'm a selfish person. But, by God's grace. That has been my motto for the week.

Because here's the deal. I need a job. But I can't just keep thinking I'm gonna get one very easily. There are so many other qualified people out there that want the same thing I do. So I gotta knock 'em dead, kid. Gotta get after it. Gotta sock 'em!

..."Sock 'em?" I don't even know what I'm saying right now.

I have been officially Reganed.

Guess who has two thumbs and just saw Brian Regan live?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


This gal.


Jealous?


It was inexplicably indescribably AWESOME! As I've mentioned one too many times to mention, I want to be a comedian when I don't grow up. So this hits the ticket.


I don't think that's right...


Hits the nail on the head? At any rate. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. So it was good.


There are slogans out there that have false advertising all up in here. 


Like the Always brand. "Have a happy period". Wow. Not enough words to describe how false this is. The words "happy" and "period" do not even belong in the same sentence. The same universe. I bet it was a male that came up with this saying. 


"Spangles, it just tastes better." Compared to what? Better than what? I need a chart. When I walk into Spangles, I want to see a statistical chart that shows what Spangles is better than. Every restaurant. 


"Wheaties: The breakfast of Champions!" .....is there an ingredient I'm missing? Because one day I was eating Wheaties (a rare occasion. I was always more of a Frosted Flakes fan) and I looked at the ingredients. I didn't see any notes about Steroids or muscle-influencing supplements. Joke. But really. After I ate them I went back to bed. So does that imply that I must be a Champion BEFORE I can eat the Wheaties? Is there a Wheaties osmosis that has to occur? Or do I become a Champion by eating said cereal? I just want to be a champion.