MOORED

I haven't blogged in a while, so I felt the need to write something warm and gracious...

...Good gracious it's warm in here. (Victor Borge wit).

Flies are one of my biggest pet peeves. And I don't just mean the small ones. I'm talking about those huge ones that fly around and sound like miniature aircraft carriers. They're so fat and gross. I want them to run into the wall and die a slow and fatful death. Of all God's creation, I just can barely tolerate bugs.

Even butterflies.

Yeah, I said it.

Butterflies give me the creeps. Have you ever looked really close at one? They look like they're sucking the brains out of flowers. I can just hear women around the world gasping, holding hands to fluttering hearts. "Butterflies, Bekah?! My stars. Their delicate wings of supernatural beauty! How could you say such slanderous things?"

[It's a good thing fat flies are so slow. I killed him. The fly, that is].

What I have to say is this. Yes, butterflies are pretty fromest afareth. But have you ever been in a swarm (hive? Murder? Herd?) of butterflies? They make it look pretty in the movies. But I've worn bright pink shirts out in the wilderness and let me tell you...it quickens the heart a bit.

I also have a marginal discomfort with large swarms of birds. I was never the same after seeing the movie "the Birds" in 10th grade. A scarring film.

[Okay. I seriously killed that fly, and now there's another one. It's like the mythical Hydra; except when you kill one fly, a gatrillion take it's place. Messy].

I didn't really have a point to any of this.

Bugs are gross. I don't think there will be bugs in Heaven. And if there are, there will be such things like Heavenly mosquitoes. They will spit out rainbows or something.