Almost done.

The Facebook drought is almost over.

I can feel the blood beginning to pump back into my veins...the familiar rush as I anticipate logging in and seeing all those notifications...

NOT.

I probably really haven't gotten that many, in all actuality of reality of syncopasity.

I don't know what else to talk about.

I'm seriously at a loss for words.

I don't think that's ever happened to me.

Well. Maybe once. And it was at the Grand Canyon.

I choked on a piece of gum.

Day 16, 1:57 a.m. Eastern Time-Facebook whispers my name...

Okay. I miss Facebook. It's official. I had this weird obsession with spending hours looking at pictures of people that I hardly knew. And now that I watch my friends from afar doing said creepy activity, I'm just itching to get back on. 


But it's all in my head...right?


I don't REALLY need to respond to the seemingly endless wall-posts that I imagine are clogging my notifications. Right?


I don't need to check those important messages about that event that I might not even go to but I'll check 'maybe" anyway because I'm wishy washy...........right?




....Right......


Enough about Facebook.


I've decided that the laundry room in Moore Hall is the perfect place to relax. I love washing machines.


I have also realized I have this superfluous fear of treadmills. I have aptly named this fear, "Tread-Dread". I ran on one in the Rec Center tonight and the whole time I was sweating. Not from the workout......(I only had it on about level 5.5. I can just hear you judging me. Don't) but from the constant fear that I was going to be distracted for one second or slow down and it would be all over. I've fallen on a treadmill before. It might surprise you to know that you can't stop running on a treadmill. I found that out the hard way. (Again with the judging...)


While we're on the subject of things I've learned:


All-nighters aren't much of a reality for me anymore. I'm getting old.


Never tell an Architect his letter "P" is looking a little crooked. Did you know they spend hours on those letters...? Whoops.


Free stuff and coupons are awesome. That goes for anyone at any stage in life.


I got a new phone cover for my phone. It looks like a Transformer (not exactly something I've learned...but I just thought you should know) 


Some people just are on a NOT-need-to-know-basis. Find this out before you tell them anything. I'm over it.

When they say "poor college students", they MEAN IT.


Goodnight.

Facebook withdrawals...

Yes I changed my blog. Don't freak out, because it will probably be different in about a month or so anyway.

Hey mom. Yes I'm awake at 12:36 a.m. But it's okay because I don't have class in the morning.

Do you ever just wake up and not like yourself? I seriously woke up today not liking myself. I don't like that I just go through life expecting things to be handed to me. I'm a selfish person. But, by God's grace. That has been my motto for the week.

Because here's the deal. I need a job. But I can't just keep thinking I'm gonna get one very easily. There are so many other qualified people out there that want the same thing I do. So I gotta knock 'em dead, kid. Gotta get after it. Gotta sock 'em!

..."Sock 'em?" I don't even know what I'm saying right now.

I have been officially Reganed.

Guess who has two thumbs and just saw Brian Regan live?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


This gal.


Jealous?


It was inexplicably indescribably AWESOME! As I've mentioned one too many times to mention, I want to be a comedian when I don't grow up. So this hits the ticket.


I don't think that's right...


Hits the nail on the head? At any rate. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. So it was good.


There are slogans out there that have false advertising all up in here. 


Like the Always brand. "Have a happy period". Wow. Not enough words to describe how false this is. The words "happy" and "period" do not even belong in the same sentence. The same universe. I bet it was a male that came up with this saying. 


"Spangles, it just tastes better." Compared to what? Better than what? I need a chart. When I walk into Spangles, I want to see a statistical chart that shows what Spangles is better than. Every restaurant. 


"Wheaties: The breakfast of Champions!" .....is there an ingredient I'm missing? Because one day I was eating Wheaties (a rare occasion. I was always more of a Frosted Flakes fan) and I looked at the ingredients. I didn't see any notes about Steroids or muscle-influencing supplements. Joke. But really. After I ate them I went back to bed. So does that imply that I must be a Champion BEFORE I can eat the Wheaties? Is there a Wheaties osmosis that has to occur? Or do I become a Champion by eating said cereal? I just want to be a champion. 

Social Networking bannation: Day 1.

Facebook-be-gone experiment, day 1.


I have decided to get off of Facebook for a whole month. One. Whole. Month. To some, this is an absurd idea. Preposterous. I'm beginning to think they're right. 


It's already been 15 minutes and I can feel the blood rushing to my head...my palms beginning to sweat...the familiar shakes come on as I feel the withdrawals setting in. The endless hours of creeping on pictures of people I hardly know beckon to me; the painstaking thought process of inventing a witty status to gather caustic remarks and thousands of "likes" plagues the brain. Tomorrow is National Creep Day...How can I do what I do best without Facebook?


All that aside...it's worth it. Completely worth it. I have realized just how important Facebook has become in this society...too important. It has become an infection; people refer to it for relationships, friendships, and even friends of friends of friends that were tagged in that one picture from when your friend was on vacation. This so-called social network has become more than just a trend among college students. It has become a world-wide icon that has possessed so many monitors across this globe. And I want to know...is it really worth it? Is Facebook so crucial in my life that I can't go a month without it? I would like to think not. That is why I am going to conduct this experiment. To go a month without that social networking site that we have all learned to obsess over. And I challenge you to try as well, reader. Will you accept?


P.S. Also, if you really need to get ahold of me, there are other things out there. Email. Phone. A hand-written letter! I love getting them and I love sending them. They have become obsolete and it saddens me. What is a hand-written letter you may ask?


Google it. 

Oprah, Kramer and whippage of hair back and forth.

Oprah. I want to know. How is this woman successful? What was the point where she woke up and decided, no turning back. I'm going to own my own talk show. And if I decided to own one, would it work that way for me? Probably not. So what is it about Oprah that brings the sobs all around the world? Her voice makes me think of Feng Shui. You can't even hear her name now without thinking, I may just start crying because of that one episode where she bought a house for the family that was financially unstable. And it's crazy to think that years ago, no one knew who Oprah even was. She has surpassed even celebrities. She's in BOARD GAMES for crying out loud!!!!! I just...don't know what to do. And she's just so filthy rich. It's like every show she's handing out free cars for everyone in the audience or she rolls in giving high fives and announces, "hey everyone! You're all going to resorts in Australia because I feel good!" It just. I mean if Bill Gates had a talk show? Can you imagine how THAT would go? Oprah would be a thing of the past. People would get free planets. 


I think Kramer from Seinfeld is hilarious. If I was a man I would want to look like and have the  mannerisms of Kramer. But I'm not. So we're just gonna move on.


Willow Smith. I had not even heard of this child until this song, "I whip my hair back and forth" came out. I don't understand the song. The child is nine years old. In the song, she talks about "when they see me pull up, I whip it real hard" (I'm assuming her hair). Pull up in what?!!!!!! Her Barbie Convertible?!!!! She can't drive!!!! I don't...understand. It just bothers me when mere children talk about things such as pulling up in invisible cars. She also mentions, "Don't let haters keep me off my grind". What haters? Grind?! I didn't even know what haters meant at the age of nine. Do kids even know how to hate? I just think society has driven this whole child-star thing out the door and through several buildings. The rest of the song goes on to tell us, if we didn't get it the first ten choruses, that she likes to whip her hair back and forth. Willow, I'm sorry you're named after a tree.


P.S. Bon Jovi keeps looking older and older.

Do YOU take your deodorant for granted?

I like watching the polls.

Is that nerdy? Oh. It is?

Well. I admittedly do. It's addicting. It's like watching a caterpillar trying to go from one leaf to another in the span of five hours. You never know what could happen.

Speaking of which...

have you ever had that sinking feeling in your stomach? Like when Wal-Mart discontinues your favorite deodorant?

I don't think I have to say it. But I will. Wal-Mart discontinued my favorite deodorant.

Are they insane?!!!!

That deodorant...was the perfect odor blocker. It smelled like an ocean breeze wafting through a beach full of coconut palm trees waving in a Hawaiian sun. Pretty sure that's what it was called, too.
I went to Wal-Mart yesterday and it was GONE. I had to choke back a cry of helplessness as i frantically rifled through the endless maze of unfamiliar scents of Teen Spirit (Do I really want to smell like hormones and ex-cheerleading years? Literally taking the song to the next level) and tacky odorless off-brands. It was nowhere to be found. Through the streaming tears I grabbed a go fresh Dove. Three years of my beautiful Suave...gone.

I am NOT melodramatic. I do NOT use parentheses too much. And I certainly DON'T overuse caps.