MOORED

Nursery Rhymes are creepy.

1. Humpty Dumpty has a great fall and breaks his head and no one can fix him. ?!!!!

2. Ring Around the Rosies is a story about the Bubonic Plague and people dropping dead. So they'd put roses in their pockets. CHILDREN SING THIS. How delight-flippin'-ful.

3. Rock-a-Bye-Baby. The child is rocking. Suddenly, a sudden gust of wind sends the cradle tumbling down and the baby to it's most-likely death. How cute!!!!

4. Jack and Jill. Jack gets a concussion or goodness knows what else, and Jill pulls a Lemming/Princess Bride/starcrossed lover moment and follows after him. I'm sure they both end up with a little more than a bump. Wonderful.

5. Old Mother Hubbard. Goes to the cupboard to get her dog a bone. But. There's nothing there. Does she feed her dog something else in the meanwhile? NO. It says the poor dog had none. NONE. Inhumane. PETA would be all over her face. 

6. Old woman who lived in a shoe (notice a lot of them are about old women?) running a miniature orphanage. And she spanks her children. Now, I have nothing against spanking children. But all it says is that she spanks them, then sends them off to bed. Did they even do anything?!!!! I mean, there's always at least one kid in the bunch. But ALL of them? Crikeys.

7. The Lady who swallows a fly. DARN RIGHT I don't know why!!!!!!!!! Idk if this is a legit nursery rhyme. But it's creepy, so it probably is. "Hey kids, guess what she did next?!!" "I-I-I don't w-w-wanna know..." "GUESS, JR.!!!!!" "*crying* o-o-okay. She spits them a-a-all out?" "NO SHE SWALLOWS A HORSE. SHE DIES OF COURSE!!!!!" *hysterical crying amidst a cackling laugh*.

I don't know. Those are just a few of many, I'm sure. The Gingerbread one is pretty whacked too. 


P.S. I HATE bees. Even the wood bees. I don't care that they don't sting you. They're huge and they dive-bomb you and when you accidentally hit them it's like hitting a squishy pellet of danger. I hate bees.